Stamps commemorate environmental disasters

Washington (CNBS) – The U.S. Postal Service is issuing a new stamp collection commemorating decades of environmental work now coming to an end under Scott Pruitt.

Mr Pruitt, the Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency, unveiled the commemorative stamps, pointing out all of the environmental events appearing on the stamps occurred after creation of the EPA in 1970.

Mr. Pruitt told an audience, made up mostly his security detail, that the EPA had been “used as a tool by liberal environmental communist Democrats from California and New York City.”

“EPA has been a complete waste of the taxpayers’ money. It has failed to prevent any of the disasters depicted on these stamps. That’s why the president has directed me to shut down the agency. In doing so we will save Americans and American business billions of dollars.”

Stamps in the commemorative four-pack include the Exxon-Valdez oil spill in Alaska, the Love Canal chemical dump in upstate New York, Pennsylvania’s Three Mile Island nuclear accident, and the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

“When you look at these four incidents alone the EPA did nothing to prevent them and in spite of that there has been very little environmental damage from these cases; short-term perhaps but short-term,” the administrator said. “Is that short-term impact worth the billions of taxpayers’ dollars we’ve wasted – and where were the states in all of this?”

America could have been energy independent had the EPA not ham-strung the country’s energy and automobile industries, he told the ceremony. “If it hadn’t been for the EPA we would never have known we had polluted air or polluted water. We could have save hundreds of billions of dollars in needless costs addressing problems we never knew existed,” Mr. Pruitt said.

EPA had been taken over by “eggheads and environmentalists and communists,” according to Mr. Pruitt.

“Thousands of miles of pristine coastline have been rendered useless because of tree-hugging regulations that favored clean water over corporate profits - it's un-American”, he said

The agency will be gradually shut down over the next two years with the administrator’s office and the EPA security branch being the last to go. The security group was being retained because radical Muslim environmental terrorists were plotting to kill Mr Pruitt.

“Because of threats against me I require 24-hour protection and services along with appropriate vehicles.” He added that he disliked the smell of automobile exhaust almost as much as he hates sitting in traffic, so his security vehicles are equipped with lights and sirens.

The Environmental Protection Agency was created in 1970 under the Nixon administration. It currently has in excess of 14,000 employee and an $8 billion dollar budget. Some five per cent of the agency staff are employed in the security branch providing protective and personal services for the administrator. An agency spokesman said personal services including sprinkling various bits of floral and fauna in the administrator’s path, providing 24-hour food service, and ensuring clean air at any venue to be visited by Mr. Pruitt.


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