Food Fight Erupts at White House Salad Bar

Washington (CNBS) – Presidential son-in-law and adviser, Jared Kushner, has reportedly had a blow-up with White House Chief of staff Gen. John Kelly over access to secret documents.

An occasionally reliable White House source told CNBS News that Mr. Kushner, who only has interim security clearance, had a verbal confrontation with Gen. Kelly at the salad bar in the White House mess.

Mr. Kushner loudly demanded that he continue to receive the President’s Daily Brief, perhaps one of the most prized top secret documents in the intelligence community. Gen. Kelly has been attempting to tighten up security after it was revealed that one of his assistants and accused wife-beater, Rob Porter, continued to see classified documents even though he only held an interim clearance and a six-month White House parking pass.

When Gen. Kelly refused the request, Mr. Kushner is reported to have thrown a handful of croutons at the general, stomped his feet, and cried, “I want it, I want it, I want it.”

Other White House sources tell CNBS that in spite of its highly prized security value the PDB is also much sought after by White House staff who would normally do not have access, especially younger staff such as Mr. Kushner.

One staff member at the National Security Council, which prepares the brief with input from the intelligence community and CNN, told CNBS that once Mr. Trump arrived in the White House the NSC learned he did not read the brief. As a result the NSC changed the report format.

“We started to prepare parts of the brief in a pop-up book format; you know, make it more entertaining. We subsequently learned Mr. Kushner and other staff members were taking the pop-ups home for their children who only have level one, confidential, clearance,” the NSC staffer told CNBS.

A witness to the salad bar confrontation said that as he walked away, Mr. Kushner yelled at Gen. Kelly, “you haven’t heard the last of this!”

Gen. Kelly responded, “What? The PDB or those stale bread crumbs?”

In the shadow of the Porter scandal Gen. Kelly has been attempting to tightening White House security. Among the items in the security clamp down have been access to the PDB, monthly White House parking passes, and restroom keys. Restroom access is reported to be a major sore point.

“Who gives a flying f**k about the PDB,” one staffer told CNBS, “since the federal and district governments don't recognize marijuana legalization, I have to have some place private to have a toke or two. There’s too many people out in the Rose Garden. Man, some days it’s like Maui Wow Wee city out there.”

Gen. Kelly refused comment when asked about reports that one of Mr. Kushner’s young children had given the PDB pop-up to a little friend whose father and mother are spies at the Russian embassy.

The NSC staffer was asked if the president does not read the PDB, where does he get his information. “When there's a need to brief the President, we rely on alternate channels, most often Fox And Friends but occasionally the National Enquirer."


Recent Posts

See All