Failed circus to present cherished assets to Feds
SARASOTA, FL (CNBS) – The soon-to-close, world famous, Ringling Brothers-Barnum & Bailey Circus will make two donations to the United States Secret Service for use protecting the U.S. president.
Sources in Florida, home of the circus, have announced that the circus will donate a specialized car and a to-be-retired tiger.
Secret Service sources say the tiger, a female Bengal, may be turned loose on the White House grounds to protect the buildings. “Tigers are intelligent, stealthy hunters and would quickly locate any intruder,” the source said.
“We think the cat will take a real bite out of crime along the fences surrounding the White House grounds,” a Secret Service spokesman told CNBS.
The car, a modified East German Trebant, is capable of carrying 20 people. The Secret Service says the vehicle will be used in presidential motorcades and likely to carry the White House staff that accompany the president.
Secret Service personnel fell short of referring to the vehicle being donated as a "clown car".
"Granted", a source said, "a vehicle like this is normally capable of carrying only four adults. Modifications developed by the circus allows it to carry five times its normal passenger load".
Despite its age, the vehicle has very low mileage. The source said the vehicle's current multi-colored exterior will be painted over in Secret Service black, and any grease paint remaining in the car will be removed before delivery.
“Unfortunately, the whoopee cushion seats will have to remain, as they are securely anchored to the vehicle,” the source said.
The Secret Service did say the confetti launcher in the vehicle trunk will be replaced with gun racks. "We feel it would be a more practical use of the space", a spokesman said.
Once delivered, circus staff will train Secret Service personnel the closely guarded techniques of entering and vacating the vehicle.
In a letter to Ringling Brothers, Donald Trump thanked them for the donation of the vehicle. “It’s a great, great thing the circus has done. It will be put to excellent use in my motorcade, and I wish the circus a long and successful run."
In his letter, Mr. Trump also thanked the circus for the tiger. “Melania has been talking about getting a cat, so I'm certain Fluffy will fit right in.” Mr Trump added, "Eric and Don Jr were particularly interested to have a wild animal so convenient to them. In fact they said they were going to pack up their gear and head to the White House this weekend. They seemed very excited."