McDonald’s To Take Over Public Schools

WASHINGTON (CNBS) – Chicago-based McDonald’s Corporation will take over operation of all U.S. public schools beginning in September, Education Secretary Betsy deVos announced here today.

The secretary said the sole-source contract will see McDonald’s operate all public schools on a profit basis. “If a school fails to turn a profit, McDonald’s will close it,” the secretary told a news conference.

“We have to restore confidence our school system that is failing to meet the needs of students, parents, and corporations,” deVos said.

“Since McDonald’s started business it has shown it can deliver on its promises, just like Mr. Trump, and it has successfully served over a billion.”

Secretary deVos also noted that awarding McDonald's with the education contract would make it a natural partner in the nation's School Lunch Program.

"Not only would out children receive high quality education, they will also enjoy delicious, nutritious lunch items such as a Big Mac™, Filet-O-Fish™, or a refreshing Coca Cola™."

Eager school kids are welcomed by Ronald McDonald during the successful pilot program held in Jackson Hole, WY

“Perhaps one of the biggest innovations we bring to this program is round-the-clock service, year round. All schools will be available 24 hours every day. One of the greatest financial drains in education has been schools that are used only used for about ten hours a day, five days a week and closed all summer and holidays,” McDonald said, “It’s very inefficient”

“We will be offering both in-class and drive-through education from a menu of quality programs with or without fries,” McDonald’s CEO, Ronald McDonald said. “And students will have fun and receive small gifts as they progress with their education.”

McDonald followed up by saying that one of the first programs it will introduce will be to incentivize return to school for the millions of Americans who have dropped out.

“Acquiring a GED has never been a big incentive for many of those great Americans who dropped out of school for their own reasons,” McDonald said. Beginning in the summer, to encourage previous dropouts to return for the fall, McDonald’s will offer gift cards, rather than GEDs, for student who complete their education.

“Rather than holding up a meaningless pieces of papers, graduates will be able to take pride in using the gift card for any items on the McDonald’s menu.” deVos said, adding to reporters that "certain exceptions may apply".