Republicans stampede for White House job fair

Washington (CNBS) – Capital Hill Republicans are scrambling for White House jobs in anticipation of big Republican losses in the fall mid-term elections.

“That’s why all of us on the Republican side shut down that Russia inquiry, so we can get over to the White House to sign up for jobs there,” one GOP Congressman said caught rushing out the office door. “Like the President said, everybody wants to work at the White House”.

“The president said that whole Russia thing probably never even happened, and that’s good enough for me!” the Congressman said adding, “that damned investigation was taking up way too much time anyway, so we shud’der down.”

When CNBS called the offices of House intelligence committee members all went to voice mail explaining offices were closed for the afternoon to recognize an important event in the home district.

At the White House west gate, Secret Service officers reported a rush of Congressmen headed for the employment office following release of the committee’s report.

“It got a little messy,” a White House staffer reported. According to Secret Service officers, fights broke out in the line between some of the 13 Congressmen and numerous Republican committee aides who arrived at the at the same time.

The employment office is looking for personnel in every position from chief of staff, daughter and son-in-law down to cashier in the White House mess. In addition, hundreds of positions are available at the State Department, other departments, and agencies across government.

“With Tillerson gone I want to be Secretary of State,” one Congressman said arguing with a junior GOP committee staff member who said, “I’m applying to be ambassador to South Korea or Secretary of State.”

“I’d really like to be ambassador or maybe charge d’affairs in Moscow. I like Russians, they’re very friendly people. I have lots of Russian friends,” another aide said. “If there are no positions in Moscow then maybe consul general in Vladivostok. I’m from Seattle and Vladivostok is just across the ocean.”

A Congressman, who asked to remain unnamed, said she wants to succeed Betsy Vos after the Secretary of Education’s disastrous Sunday night interview with the CBS program Sixty Minutes. A CBS spokesman said they originally planned to run the controversial Vos interview next week but an injunction blocked airing of an interview with actress/director Stormy Daniels. “Until we got that injunction it was a toss up between Stormy and Betsy,” the spokesman said.

Everyone in the line up was to receive an application and a list of available or soon-to-be available positions. The head of recruitment, Vilma Oshkenoshy, said all applications are held on file since the White House can experience high turn-over. “House intelligence committee staff members must have at least a secret-level security clearance, I suspect they will be in a stronger employment position than some of their blabber-mouth bosses,” she said.

Job openings are posted on a chalk board outside the recruitment office. Asked about the chalk board, a staffer, who removed two jobs and added three more including the Secretary of State, said they found


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